Underwater Amsterdam | Netherlands

You, like most people have a very nice May 1st, 3rd, 4th, Cinco de Mayo, 7th (Fabuloso!), and 8th (TRUDY TEAGUE's BIRTHDAY)! Now that you've been spoiled and never want to do things the "old way" again, along comes what you wished for – sort of. It's the first of two Eclipses and it happens during the New Moon in Taurus, which fits like a glove on you. This good luck, happy marriage, abundant fortune cookie stuff continues not just for a day but for six months! Don't faint. Sit down and fan yourself. Better yet, get naked and stand in the backyard while the water splashes ever inch of you. Think of this as a six-month baptism that brings more blessings and love and protection into your life. Don't forget Mother's Day! Get as many moms together as possible and celebrate like mad. Fix whatever you do best. Allow everyone to make a contribution. For example, good grannies usually make good fudge. Loosen your belt and forget about diets. It's Mother's Day. CELEBRATE! Once the 20th arrives, Uranus and Pluto EXACTLY square each other (this is the third time since June 24, 2012) and will continue this epoch until March 16 2015. During this time, don't fight or overreact. Step back from the ledge and just think while others scream and holler. Let them know you're recording it and they'll be embarrassed when they hear what they sound like. The saving grace on the 20th is that the Sun moves into light-hearted, funny, happy Gemini. As soon as you've recovered from the Uranus/Pluto exact conjunction, you get handcuffed by the second Eclipse/Full Moon this month on the 25th. Keep in mind that Eclipses have long lives. They don't hold sway for a day. Oh, no: they rule for six months. So mind your manners until the end of this year or Santa might drop coals down the chimney instead of Rolex and Cartier goodies. Monthly touchstone: Emerald.