Daim's Gig Guide

May sickness. We all get it. This is the time of the year where you get sick to death of everything. Sick of your job, sick of your house and sick of life, to be honest. But it's hard to get sick of Amsterdam, especially when the sun comes out, and how could you ever get sick of live music? I know I can't, and I've had the misfortune to witness Keane in concert more than once.

So, here we go with May's gig guide, which includes the good and the bad, but mainly the most ridiculous collection of band names ever assembled in one place.

5th. Liberation Day. Ok, ok, if you're really sick of Amsterdam, I'll allow you to go to Haarlem for the day, where you can enjoy the festivities at Bevrijdingspop, which this year features acts such as Juliette and the Licks, Kula Shaker and Joan Armatrading. Best of all, it's free!

6th. Back to normal now and straight off to the Paradiso for this month's first weird moniker. Hawksley Workman, who really should be worth your while with a name like that. Also on offer are Jamie Lidell, the UK's favourite hoodie, Matt & Kim who are thankfully un-related to Mel and Kim and These New Puritans, whose name I like a lot as well. Seeing them all will cost you a fair packet though, so choose wisely.

7th Paradiso. Mark Ronson. I don't get it.

8th Melkweg. The Hoosiers Chirpy indie pop – as sugary as washing a mars bar down with sunny delight. Paradiso. Morcheeba with Martina Topley Bird for those of you that used to hang around the chill-out section. Winston. The Mekkits. Short, sharp, indie rock from Manchester. Go on, you know you want to.

11th Paradiso. UB40. No, no and thrice no.

12th Melkweg. Infidels. Bouncy. Paradiso. Explosions In The Sky. Think Mogwai from Texas.

13th Melkweg. Broken Social Scene. Noisy. Busta Rhymes. Nonsense. Paradiso. Tom McRae and the Hotel Cafe Tour 2008. Genius. Heinken Music Hall UB40. I won't tell you again!

14th Melkweg. Sebastien Tellier. France's Eurovision hope. Paradiso. Rogue Wave, BlitzenTrapper and Eastern Conference Champions. Noise and names of the highest order. Alternatively you've got the choice of Whitest Boy Alive, who are basically a bunch of avant garde electronic button twiddlers, albeit with a great name, and there's also Robert Plant & Alison Krauss hitting the high notes in the Heineken Music Hall.

15th Paradiso. An evening with Ween. What have they done to deserve the "evening with" title? Answers on a postcard.

16th Paradiso. Most Serene Republic. They're Canadian. I know nothing about them. Yes, I like the name.

18th. Paradiso. Gem. Dutch indie. Good to see them still trying. Crystal Castles Best thing since ... well, you know the drill.

19th Paradiso. Kinky Friedman. Writer, comedian, politician, musician... Make your bloody mind up will you?

20th Melkweg. Vampire Weekend. For one night only. Paradiso. Pissed Jeans. No, I know nothing about them either.

21st Melkweg. Lee "Scratch" Perry. People don't get any weirder than this guy. Check him out.

22nd. Kelly Stoltz. Paradiso. Cancelled. Boo.

23rd. Paradiso. Kimya Dawson. Low-fi at its best. Sharon Krauss and Meg Baird. Because folk isn't a dirty word. Willard Grant Conspiracy, because you might have nothing better to do or Tift Merritt because you just have to find out what a person with a name like that looks like. Over in the Winston there's a great little line up, including Appie Kim, Holland's best new band and Labasheeda who are worth checking out too.

24th. Paradiso. Choose Feist, because she's brilliant or Sharon Krauss and Meg Baird, simply because you were so impressed last night you want to go again.

25th Melkweg. The Black Keys. They're getting better and better at what they do, but I wonder how many people still care?

26th. Paradiso. A Place to Bury Strangers. My favorite name so far. Sunset Rubdown, not bad either. AJ McLean. I'm sorry, I've just read him described as "Backstreet Boys' Bad Boy" and I think I may need a minute or to recover.

29th Melkweg. Flogging Molly. The poor lass must be in agony by now. HMH. Westlife cancelled. Praise be! But your best choice is, by far, the Paradiso for the wonderful Martha Wainwright.

See you next month, when the names will probably be a lot less boring once again.

Have fun

Daims
www.incendiarymag.com